Glorpo and Bloor

from Our Dumb Universe, Part 1 by Podmusical

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lyrics

GLORPO
I don’t think you do –
(Sings.)
Prepare yourself for laughter
Get your squanch to the edge of your seat
If entertainment’s what you’re after
Well, you’re in for quite the treat
We just flew in from Bloovarts
And boy are our wings BEAT

…tough crowd!

No bother, soon you’ll gather what I mean!

Name a planet and we’ve played it
Name a race and sure we slayed’em with our A game!
Every asteroid and station
If it’s worth it’s weight’s acquainted with our names!
Sure some material is dated
And we lack some elevation in our pay grade
But once those Trogus ribs are aching
From the jokes that we’l be making, that’ll change!

Iconically hedonic and synonymous with glee
They’re the eponymous comics you’ve been waiting to see
Prepare for histrionics and to laugh until you’re vomiting!

They’re the show that you’ve been waiting for,
Stick around for Glorpo and Bloor!
Raise the curtain and stomp the floor,
Give it up for Glorpo and Bloor!
Glorpo and Bloor…

Have you heard our Who’s Bloomp routine?
Go!

Hey Bloor who’s bloomp

BLOOR
Bloor!

GLORPO
You don’t say!

BLOOR
Bloor!

GLORPO
You do say?

BLOOR
Bloor?

GLORPO
Who say? Uday!

BLOOR
Bloor!

GLORPO
That’s no bloomp that’s my squeeem!
Yuk, yuk, yuk, yuk, yuk!

We start off with a number
That gets everybody humming and a swaying!
Then a bit of Grewvish mothers
How they smother and they suffer, they’ll adore!
Then Bloor we’ll get them blushing
With his stories of the stunners he’s been dating!
And before they can recover
Our soft shoe will have them thundering for more!

Our impressions are excellent
And gently offensive, it’s
Immense-ally evident
That we’re in our element
And they’ll hear us in the nose bleed
Cuz our voices ring so resonantly!!

If you liked that, well we got plenty more;
Tell your friends, it’s Glorpo and Bloor!
Here are a few you haven’t heard before
Courtesy of Glorpo and Bloor:

Ahem

A Hoovian from Dromedian space
Was on his honeymoon, in case
You aren’t familiar with the phrase
That’s an allusion to the festive
Ceremonial excursion that a Hoovian will take
Just following the marriage to a mate,
SO!

The Hoovian says BLOOR and
Then his mate replies with BLOOR BLOOR
Confused he asks her BLOOR?
And she replies with BLOOR!
And so then our friend the Hoovian
Strips down to just his Joovians and
Shrugging then he laughs and tells her
BLOOOOOOOOR!

Oh Bloor you are filthy SICK. I don’t normally perform blue, but so much of our audience is Blue, so. Now for a little antigravity tap dance!

FETINA
I don’t hear the taps.

GLORPO
There’s no taps in zero gravity
But have a hankie from my central cavity.

FELTINA
No.

GLORPO

Seats be filling
Make that killing
Spacebucks, count em up
Millions on Millions
Try to step on our stage?
You get a pie in the face!
Best BLOOR know BLOOR your BLOOR place!

You want more
we give you BLOOR
BLOOR BLOOR BLOOR BLA BLOOR BLA BLOOR BLOOR

BLOOR BLOOR BLOOR BLA BLOOR BLA BLOOR Esoteric!
BLOOR BLOOR BLOOR BLA BLOOR BLA BLOOR in hysterics!
BLOOR BLOOR BLOOR BLA BLOOR BLA BLOOR ruin your marriage!
Slaying so often, I guess we’re barbaric!
Classically trained
Unchained
Are you not entertained?

Yada dada, gotta catch my breath…
Something something Glorpo and Bloor…

Then we finish with a backflip
And a little bit of slapstick
Then Bloor does his famous hat trick
Where the hats they keep on stacking
Then the tension is just crackling!
Then the audience is gasping
And the final hat, guess what?
It’s meeeeee! YEAAAAAH!

I’m really telling you!
My name is Glorpo! And this guy is

BOTH
BLOOOOOOOOOOOOOR!