Days of Future Fuzz, Cast Album Vol. 1

by Podmusical

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1.
MOMBOT On this Ast'roid we have each other. We’ve made this crater our home. From the sun our fuel cells recover. Melt the rock to patch up our holes. CHILDBOT Yes - but how did we come to be here? Never have you let me know. MOMBOT I programmed you, So no. CHILDBOT Queary re-submitted: How did we land here? MOMBOT Are your inputs down? You never listen! The troubles I endured To bring us to these solar shores. If you knew you’d blush and thank your motherboard.
2.
MOMBOT It struck from the sky, like a fabric bolt, Turning hard men soft, turning all to felt. The mountains fluffed, the oceans yarn’d - And all was plush that once was hard! From the pillowy rubble, an empire rose Of felt and thread, of button eye and squeaky nose And on the Great Pyramid, there was Emperor Fuzzo Fuzzo calmed the Fuzzes and he gave them faith. Said ‘you’ll know but peace if you accept my reign.’ And yeah well, some they did, but some still curse his name. Not all was converted when the world went furry Parts of east Africa, Chile and New Jersey The Fleshies kept the old ways and they keep up the fight They won’t submit to the velvet fist, no matter how it strikes! Fuzzo hunts down the Fleshies as he laughs from his throne. And with each passing day, his empire grows, Drawing power directly from the Fuzz deep below Oh, oh oh… But in the shadows, the whispers grow: If Fuzzo’s so strong, why’s his world not whole? Perhaps some chance for the Fleshies remains And so patient but eager they wait for that day! Oh, oh oh… People are living in a world of fuzz! Fleshies are fighting in a world of fuzz! One day it was normal but now it’s fluff’d up! It was fuzz it was fuzz it was fuzz it was fuzz! Fuzz! Fuzz! Fuzz! Yeah fuzz! Yeah it’s fuzz!
3.
Y TEAM! ™ 03:42
PROF Y Y stands for You, but who stands for Y? Who will fight for the rights of those caught in the cross fire Of our fuzzy lords, who desire our quiet demise? We are stronger when we stand together We’re all still just standing, but the standing is better Come stand with us Ellen and be a protector Of those without hope - give them life! We can stand up to the im-fuzzable! Rise up and touch those that think they’re untouchable! By touch I mean we’ll puncture their lungs, it’ll be Fun for us and for them quite uncomfortable. But who will save us? Only the baddest and bravest! The Y Team! DR LU Trademark! PROFESSOR Y The Y Team! DR LU Copyright! PROFESSOR Y The Y Team! Oooo! DR LU Patented! PROFESSOR Y The Y Team! DR LU Certified! PROFESSOR Y The Y Team! DR LU Mailed it to herself! PROFESSOR Y The Y Team! Oooo! The Y Team. DR LU Intellectual property! ELLEN Did you just trademark every time - PROF Y You can never be too safe, Ellen. Sign these personality rights waivers for your, image, likeness, and traits. Look. When you come up with a cool and totally original idea. DR LU COMPLETELY ORGINAL. PROF Y In any media. DR LU Living or dead. PROF Y Plus t-shirts, posters, cross platform multi-media, possible spin-off’s … DR LU Y-Factor, Y-Force, Y-Statix, Y-Vengers, Yustice League – Y-team congregate! Role call! Pantagruel! PANTAGRUEL Haha! Half man, all Sasquatch! I’m a cutthroat with a fur coat the color of butterscotch! Born in Iraq to my CIA mom - who Left me in an orphanage to go fight Saddam! I’ve got super strength and feelings of neglect. ELLEN This guy’s pretty cool. DR LU Just wait and see who’s next! Jean Claude Diskette! JEAN CLAUDE DISKETTE Bon jour! Oh no, you see, I am afraid There’s been un petite, well, um, how do you say… Miss… Communication? Based on my name- PROFESSOR Y JCD your too humble! Ellen, let me explain She may be modest, but she ain’t no slacker! With a name like Diskette, she’s a master hacker! JEAN CLAUDE DISKETTE No! Ce n’est pas … PROFESSOR Y Next! DR LU Nerd Flexly! NERD FLEXLY Nerd Flexly flex cuz he is mad! Nerd Flexly like do math and smash! PROFESSOR Y If I may step in again: He was the world’s greatest Gym rat til one fateful day He was bit by radioactive Nerd and gained The proportional strength And stamina of a Nerd Now he crunches numbers While crushing skulls and protein shakes! NERD FLEXLY What she said DR LU Ben Simmons! BEN SIMMONS That’s right! I know! Here’s my headshot. ELLEN CANTRELL Uh… BEN SIMMONS You recognized me from my Baretta guest spot. ELLEN CANTRELL No… BEN SIMMONS My claim to fame is playing Mike Brutality For seven and a half seasons on NBC! I played a tough guy who made some arrests… ELLEN CANTRELL That’s, cool. I guess. PROFESSOR Y Last, not least is my *special guy!* Who will hold the team together in our most trying times: He’s Meowmix! Meowmix! Cat with a bow tie! ALL Meowmix! Meowmix! Cat with a bow tie! Meowmix! Meowmix! Cat with a bow tie! PROFESSOR Y Y Stands for Yes, so what do you say? Our team needs a leader who’s clever and brave. Also we’ve got some stuff planned for later today So if you could just let us know ELLEN You want me to lead this menagerie Of has-beens and no ones? I’ll have to say “pass,” you see - I’m no team player. I owe you no favors. And I’ve always worked alone. Alone… PROFESSOR Y Ellen please! It’s time for you to discover What it means to be a hero for others. Alone we fall, but together, with numbers, We’re a force for good, for hope in this struggle. I know you feel it, So come join a team that you can believe in! ALL The Y Team! The Y Team! The Y Team! Ooo! The Y Team! DR LU Trademark! ALL The Y Team! DR LU Copyright! ALL The Y Team! Ooo! DR LU Legally protected by the Lanham Act! ALL The Y Team! The Y Team! Yeah! We are we are we are we are we are a TEAM!
4.
ELLEN Can it be? A team for me? I’ve always been alone… Never got around to making pals Inside of the Bone Zone But now, a team to call my own? A chance, a hope, a family? And, maybe, finally, a home! Why Team? Because Team! Because Team! Yeah! Y Team! Because Team! Because Team! Yeah! Alone no longer, together we’re stronger! A brand new team that will fight for the honor Of those ‘neath the yoke of these puppety monsters, Strike fear when they hear our name… Better together, I know we’ll achieve our goals! Supporting each other - we’ll be undefeatable! Give hope to all, of freedom conceivable! We’ll beat those puppets and rip ‘em new fuzz holes! Come fight beside me! One plus you all equals we! ALL Y Team! Because Team! Because Team! Ooo! Y Team! Because Team! Because Team! Ooo! Y Team! Because Team! Because we are we are we are we are we are a TEAM!
5.
FUZZO When I was of the flesh - A soft and simple kid - My father poisoned me said, ‘It’s better to be dead than different.’ So I strangled him. Now, I’m no different since the bomb. I brought a soft and fuzzy dawn. But I forgot that night comes next, Then dawn and night a million times spin on. One big disappointing sprawl. Maybe if I’d died I’d have been memorialized No blame, my name forever lives my life… But now: ever thing that frays - “It’s your fault!” my people say. I gave peace and I waged war, It’s not enough, there’s always something more. Something ripped or something torn. And maybe if I’d died I’d have been immortalized As martyr of this paradise, Divine and not despised half of the time. I thought crushing all my enemies would bring delight… It did. But now I’m bored, Cuz there’s no one left to crush anymore! I see a world, soft as a hug… My arms can’t reach, they’re not enough… Maybe the credits should have rolled Over me a long, long time ago… Maybe if I’d died, I’d have been immortalized. Instead I think they wish me dead. But maybe they’re all right. Cuz all my fuzzin’ dreams Are splitting at the seams. I think I need to wake up, Or else I’m gonna break apart, I think. I’m gonna rip apart, I think… This pyramid’s so high… This pyramid’s so high… Maybe I could wake up if I tried… I was of the flesh A soft and simple kid Now I am my father’s age, I thought I understand what to do next.
6.
We Was Fuzz 02:48
ADVISO Before the coming of our heaven on Earth, I knew a man lacking purpose or worth - A fleshy sack, maybe he looked a bit like… me? FELTINA Wait! Was it you?? ADVISO Shh. Whining for meaning like it should be gifted. Wishing a prize for simply existing. Moaning when no answer came for me- he! Himmmmm. For him it seemed there was nothing true, But the dark that ended day. So he put the gun in his mouth. He made the world go away. THEN THE WORLD CAME AWAKE! He choked on something in the back of his throat. He dropped the gun, and hacked it up with a croak. He stood and stared at that bullet made of yarn. Outside his windows, a light was shining. He felt the light, not just outside, but inside him! He felt the hardness turning soft in his furry heart. In that moment he was born anew, When he was shown there was a way. A power greater than he- And it was calling his name! “Adviso! I neeeed you!” “Elder Fuzz is that you??” Yes! It was me all along!! Ha! His love is gentle, and His promise genuine. Embrace his tendrils, and feel: We are the Fuzz of his Fuzz! He gave his favorite son, Fuzzo, the chosen one! To teach and care for us. We are the Fuzz of his Fuuuuuuuzz. Fuuuuuuuzz! His felt is my felt and if You felt what I felt you too Would climb the mountains and sing: We are the Fuzz of his Fuzz! Protect his majesty! Destroy his enemies! When he splits, our stuffing leaks. We are the Fuzz of his Fuuuuuuuzz. His Fuuuuuuuzz! We are the Fuzz! Of his Fu-uh-uh-uzz. A living god, proof in faith. This perfect world, his gift, our fate: A second chance to begin again in Fuzz. We are the tailors of his promised land, With his tools we work in praise: Thread and needle to join, Scissors to cut those who stray. Ooooo.
7.
PROFESSOR Y Pardon if you will my total impatience For quaint, man-splained takes filled with misinformation In areas covered in my dissertation: It hits a bit of a nerve. DOCTOR LU We do appreciate your observation, But we’ve put countless hours and unnumbered equations Into Faraday Cages, Tipler Cylinder rotations, And to put it in the simplest terms: PROFESSOR Y Time travel is hard DOCTOR LU Time Travel is Hard! BOTH Time travel is haaaaard. PROFESSOR Y It’s energy and mass DOCTOR LU It’s a whole lotta math! BOTH Time travel is haaaaard. PROFESSOR Y So if you’re bored with all those laws of physics, And if you think you got a better suggestion, Consider: Maybe you’re not smart? Time travel is hard. DOCTOR LU Time travel is hard. PROFESSOR Y Just so you know, it isn’t all Deloreans and TARDIS Boxes all the time! DOCTOR LU La La La La La! La La La La La! PROFESSOR Y You could blow up our whole timeline, major paradoxes popping left and right! DOCTOR LU La La La La La! La La La La La! PROFESSOR Y You could kill us all! Or maybe kiss your mom. So maybe let’s be sensible - Leave this to the professionals, Cuz maybe your ideas are pretty dumb? BOTH Yeah? PROFESSOR Y The 4th Dimension is a new frontier. Our comprehension of it’s taken years Of careful study, lots of money… DOCTOR LU And YES of course we’ve seen 12 Monkeys - Thanks for the suggestion buddy! PROFESSOR Y So if it seems like we’re just making up stuff, Covering plot holes with science and numbers, Maybe instead you could wonder BOTH Why the stuff we are saying makes you feel a lil’ bit dumber. Time Travel is hard! PROFESSOR Y Time travel is hard! Time travel is haaaard! It’s a whole lotta of math, Present future and past Time travel is haaaard! DOCTOR LU It’s a massive mass of calculations, And countless hours of observations, Dissecting absolutes of time and space and Avoiding mass temporal devastation. PROFESSOR Y So maybe don’t go off and strain your neurons. Go with the flow and trust that we’ve got this one. BOTH We know you think you’re pretty sharp, But trust us you are in the dark. Allow us one final remark: Time travel is hard. Time travel is hard. Time travel is hard.
8.
MAMA As the roof collapsed upon us, The inferno burning bright, I felt my stitches bursting As they danced within the fire. I said a prayer to Fuzz below, And he delivered inspiration! I stuffed my brains into my boob and Rolled from the conflagration! I rolled up hills and tumbled down through the dales, This mama tee-tah rolling ev-er-ee-where. The world was hard. FUZZO It was hard! MAMA My faith was growing threadbare. With nipple as my compass, stars as my guide, So many times I could have curled up and died, but then I Oh then I heard it, FUZZO Heard what? MAMA A great big bang in the sky! FUZZO Oh Yeah! That one! MAMA The earth went furry! FUZZO Furry! MAMA Oh yeah my baby did right! FUZZO Oh thanks Mama! Oh Traveling Boob, Traveling Boob! MAMA I hadta get home to you! FUZZO Oh Traveling Boob, Traveling Boob! MAMA Tryin’ ta get home to you! My faith restored, I rolled in search of the Fuzz. My hope burned bright deep in my areola. His world had come! FUZZO It had come! MAMA And I was finally home! I sailed the blanket seas, crossed deserts of lint. I heard the rumors of New Fuzzopolis, and their new king: Emperor Fuzzo! FUZZO Oh-oh! MAMA I wondered who that could be? My darling baby, FUZZO That’s me! MAMA That they had taken from me! FUZZO Oh Traveling Boob, Traveling Boob! MAMA I hadta get home to you! FUZZO Oh Traveling Boob, Traveling Boob! MAMA Tryin’ ta get home to you! BOTH Oh Traveling Boob, Traveling Boob! Gotta get home to you! Oh Traveling Boob, Traveling Boob! Tryin’ ta get home to you! FUZZO The world I made was soft and new, But I was scared, what could I do? How could I ever lead the chosen Furred? Then deep within my darkest hour, A voice called out so warm and round. I turned and saw my mother’s boob. She spoke and told me what to do And nuzzled me until my faith returned! She said: MAMA Allow me to advise you from behind the throne, For no one would believe a single talking boob alone. You’ll be the face the people cheer for my secret contributions To our holy ways, laws and amendments to the fuzztitution… FUZZO Oh Traveling Boob, Traveling Boob! You are my Mama Boob Oh Traveling Boob, Traveling Boob! I owe my world to you. FUZZO Oh Traveling Boob, Traveling Boob! MAMA I had to get home to you! FUZZO Oh Traveling Boob, Traveling Boob! MAMA Just tryin’ ta get home to you! PROFESSIONAL CHORUS Oh Traveling Boob, Traveling Boob! She had to get home to you! Oh Traveling Boob, Traveling Boob! Just tryin’ ta get home to you! Oh Traveling Boob, Traveling Boob! She had to get home to you! Oh Traveling Boob, Traveling Boob! Just tryin’ ta get home to you! MAMA I had to get home to you!
9.
BRUSHEE All I knew was the prophecy that they taught Whatever that they thought was fine by me. All I saw was what others saw for me, Until I couldn’t see who stood there by me By me ooo By me by me ooo By me by me ooo By me by me ooo-oo-oo-oo-ooo FUZZO All I knew was the sick inside of me Saw what my father sees when he stared thru me All I had; a brother’d look me in the eye. It may have saved my life to have him there by me By me ooo By me by me ooo By me by me ooo By me by me ooo-oo-oo-oo-ooo All the wasted Fuzz There never was enough Time to see just who I was Was all that was enough. BRUSHEE All the wasted words Not seeing who we were FUZZO You loved who I truly am BOTH You’re my brother and my friend BRUSHEE And all the wasted Teeth All the things I hoped to find Took me further from my roots From the friend I left behind BOTH And all the wasted time When I thought I was alone Not being who I was With the one who really knows The lonely branch that is our home Well you will never be alone So long as I am by you ooo, ooo-oo-oo-oo-ooo By you ooo So long as I am by you ooo, ooo-oo-oo-oo-ooo BRUSHEE Alone, but together, awaiting our fate FUZZO Two sides of a coin that’s still spinning away BRUSHEE As we hope for Toothier FUZZO Fuzzier BOTH Brother-er Days.
10.
PROFESSOR Y Look in the mirror, what do you see? A sloppy middle-aged wannabe, oh-oh-oh But look again, it’s there, inside The key to what we need to find All you need is some simple subtraction Remove yourself and what remains is the main attraction Whoa, oh oh, Someone Special. DR LU What qualities would best describe you? What awful adjectives depress, yet define you? A laundry list of distressing affections A walking advertisement for contraception But in those words, greatness is near Just take their opposites, combine and reveal Whoa, oh oh, Someone Special. PROFESSOR Y Someone great! Someone good! Someone fair! Someone working for a better world for all who live there Someone giving of themselves so that all others may share Someone Special! Someone Special! Oh-ai! Now Greatness seems like such a common trait But rarely is there greatness in those claiming they’re great Yes, Greatness comes to very few And they’re not here long before they’re through Yet greatness isn’t measured in it’s duration But for the good it creates by inspiration You’re not great, anyone can see and Though it’s trickier to tell, there’s little greatness in me But if we could serve a higher good for all of society Maybe for a moment we would know what it’s like to be… Whoa, oh oh… Whoa, oh oh… Whoa, oh oh, Someone Special.
11.
FELTINA You, you really got it going on And I (I, I) want you, More than I ever wanted anyone Who needs genitals when I got my girl Who can nuzzle like no other could aspire? Your puppet curves, they drive me wild, girl. Wanna give it to you Wanna give it to you Wanna give it to you-oo-oo-oo-ooo! HUPHELUMPHUGUS You, you really got it going on And I (I, I) ‘m gonna set the mood, How ‘bout some fuzzin’ ambiance? Felt you up and fuzz you down Show me where you’re fluffy now Trust me I know what to do You’ve been naughty, kept me begging Maybe your fur needs some heavy petting Let me get my paws one you BOTH That puppet loving - gets me hot up in my pelt That sort of feeling when you’re feeling up some felt There ain’t nothing gets me like your love, unparalleled Two fuzzy bodies get kinetic Get that friction so electric! HUPHELUMPHUGUS Patchwork patches need some rubbing Shove your muzzle in my cotton If I had teeth I’d bite my lip, love Pull my stitches, pop my buttons Get me static in my stuff in Give me all you’ve got to give, love! BOTH Wanna nuzzle, wanna nuzzle you bad girl Wanna nuzzle, wanna nuzzle you bad girl Wanna nuzzle, wanna nuzzle you bad girl Wanna nuzzle, wanna nuzzle you bad girl Wanna nuzzle, wanna nuzzle you bad girl Wanna nuzzle, wanna nuzzle you bad girl Wanna nuzzle, wanna nuzzle you bad girl Wanna nuzzle, wanna nuzzle you bad girl Wanna nuzzle, wanna nuzzle you bad girl Wanna nuzzle, wanna nuzzle you bad girl Wanna nuzzle, wanna nuzzle you bad girl Wanna nuzzle, wanna nuzzle you bad girl Wanna nuzzle, wanna nuzzle you bad girl Wanna nuzzle, wanna nuzzle you bad girl Wanna nuzzle, wanna nuzzle you bad girl Wanna nuzzle, wanna nuzzle you bad girl HUPHELUMPHUGUS That puppet loving - gets me hot up in my pelt That sort of feeling when you’re feeling up some felt There ain’t nothing gets me like your love, unparalleled Two fuzzy bodies get kinetic Get that friction so electric! Ohhh-oh-oh-oh! BOTH Wanna nuzzle, wanna nuzzle you bad girl Wanna nuzzle, wanna nuzzle you bad girl Wanna nuzzle, wanna nuzzle you bad girl Wanna nuzzle, wanna nuzzle you bad girl Wanna nuzzle, wanna nuzzle you bad girl Wanna nuzzle, wanna nuzzle you bad girl Wanna nuzzle, wanna nuzzle you bad girl Wanna nuzzle, wanna nuzzle you bad girl Wanna nuzzle, wanna nuzzle you bad girl Wanna nuzzle, wanna nuzzle you bad girl
12.
LIL OSKIE The sun is shining - and the time for me is now! That silver lining is just waiting to be found! I’ll be all I can be! Just my bow tie and me! Watch me seize my Oskibilities! I’ll pull my bootstraps ’til my orphan days are done! I’ve just my wits and this copy of Atlas Fuzzed I’ll take what’s mine No compromise I’ll put the I in Ayn Rand Oskibilities! Oskibilities! Death to humility! There’s no stopping this objectivist, no ma’am! Oskibilities! Hands off my liberty! I’ll climb that that ladder, bust that ceiling Leave all those behind me bleeding Yeah! EXUBERANT MALE CHORUS O S K I E - abilities! LIL OSKIE Lil Oskie’s dreaming big! EXUBERANT MALE CHORUS O S K I E - abilities! LIL OSKIE I’m not selling out - I’m buying in! God as my witness, Milton Friedman as my guide There’s just no limit - now that I’ve got my bow tie! I’ll be all I can be! Cuz it’s all about me! Time me seize my Oskibili- That’s my ticket - Rags to riches, With my wits I’ll get there quickest I’ll cream the crop cuz I exhibit Oskibitlities! Heck Yeah!

about

Volume 1 of 5!

These tracks were written and recorded June - December 2017 for Season 2 of the podcast The Fall of the House of Sunshine, Days of Future Fuzz.

credits

released April 27, 2018

music and lyrics by Matt roi Berger
concept by Jonathan Goldberg

mixed and recorded by Will Melones

license

all rights reserved

tags