Fur or Less

from Our Dumb Universe, Part 1 by Podmusical

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lyrics

FUZZO
Just hear me out …
(Sings)
Hey! I got a plan!
Just stick with me; just take my hand
We’ll be home free, if we can land
A little opportunity, an opportunity

VALBORG
Get away from me!

FUZZO
I swear! It’s gonna work - if we do it right.
Stick it to those jerks - slip into the night
A one time honored, can’t be squandered
Opportunity! For you and me!

Trust me friend - they won’t see it coming!

VALBORG
Say “friend” again, I’ll gut your stuffing
We’re enemies - had you forgotten??

FUZZO
If I say yes…

VALBORG
I’ll spill your cotton.

FUZZO
Ok!

We’re home free if we trust each other!

VALBORG
Dream again you mother-fluffed!

FUZZO
If you stay here, Greenland stays sunken!
You’d rather suffer? Fine - I’ll go: I’ll do it on my own.

VALBORG
Errrrr… FINE. Tell me your plan.

FUZZO
I KNEW you’d-!

VALBORG
You have ONE VERSE tip I throttle you.

FUZZO
Ok!

For months, I’ve been discreet;
I run errands at the infirmary
If they need it done, they trust in me!
And there’s the opportunity!

This week, it paid off - thanks to my patience
The key, to the safe - all of the medication
Slipped in hidden, came out with an
Opportunity! For you and me!!

VALBORG
YES but WHAT?

FUZZO
See the Trogus have trouble sleeping down here with all the gravity-

VALBORG
What??

FUZZO
SEDATIVES VAL! And I stole them all!

VALBORG
Drug them all?

FUZZO
Yes!

VALBORG
No you couldn’t.

FUZZO
Friend the proof is in your pudding!

VALBORG
Lace their lunch…

FUZZO
They’ll be counting sheep and
We’ll make off while they’re all sleeping!

VALBORG
I’ll be free to fulfill my mission…

FUZZO
If you accept this conscription

BOTH
Pudding and pills is our prescription
To cure us of this Trogus prison!

Oh! It’s the perfect ruse
All that’s left to do’s
Put my trust in you

FUZZO
So what you say Val…?

VALBORG
…I can’t believe I’m doing this…

FUZZO
Yes! Dance with me

VALBORG
Stop it! Fuzzo! Stop it, you’re - everyone’s looking. Alright - now tell me the rest of the plan.

FUZZO
Shh, Val, everyone’s looking

VALBORG
Well yes but - UGH. What’s next

FUZZO
Let’s not get ahead of ourselves!

Step one, just play it cool
Tomorrow at lunch, we’ll make our move
Once we’re done, on to step two!
The perfect opportunity!

Take the pills, avoid detection

VALBORG
I’ll add them after vat inspection

FUZZO
Crush em good, they’ll never notice

BOTH
Off to dreamland for all Trogus!

VALBORG
I never would have guessed our pairing

FUZZO
Fortune favors those who dare, and
Fur or less we’ve got it covered
If we trust on one another!

BOTH
Oh! We’re gonna score!
Make the Trogus snore
And slip out the door!

Nothing bad will
Come of this I’m sure!